We have been told that the difference between success and failure lies in achieving goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Notice how this definition omits any consideration of whether your work feels intrinsically right. This paradigm is based on a finite game, a game played to win and which ends once the time frame has expired.
If you write a book specifically to sell a certain number of copies, you are playing a finite game. You plan the book, write the book, and promote the book with the hope of achieving your goal. If you sell the number of copies in the given time frame, you are successful. If you do not, you are labeled a failure. But the real failure is being so attached to a finite game that you never play an infinite game.
In contrast to a finite game, an infinite game goes on forever. The sole reason for engaging in an infinite game is the inherent value of playing the game. You engage in work simply because the work feels right, because you have listened to your intuition. You may, for example, dedicate your life to the art of writing, to sharing impactful messages through various media, and to continually improving your ability to express yourself. You celebrate your victories and seek to grow from your failures, but in doing so, you realize that neither your victories nor your failures can diminish the intense fulfillment you derive from your writing journey.
So what pursuit is worth doing for at least a decade simply because it captivates your imagination?
When you find work that resonates with you, don’t ignore it. It may take time for the practical aspects of your work to come together. That’s okay because you are playing an infinite game, not a finite one. Your ability to identify an infinite game is far more valuable than any minor victory in a finite game.
If you write a book and don’t get the results you want, but you know in your heart of hearts that you were put on this planet to write books, that’s okay. The field of writing is deep. If you audition for a role in a theater production and don’t get it, that’s okay. There will be other roles. The journey is not over.
Do not let a finite game deceive you into defining success as achieving a specific outcome in a given amount of time. Real success is about being so engaged in an activity that time disappears. There is great peace in knowing that you are fully complete, so you do not need to play a finite game. Instead, you focus on an infinite game that is the greatest expression of your wholeness. The short term becomes less important because you are fully committed to making things work in the long term.
When you are committed to the long term, you let go of any thought about the outcome and simply focus on giving your best to each input. As you focus on the inputs, you develop a love of questions. These questions irrepressibly urge you to keep pushing toward the next level. Perhaps nothing is more fulfilling than this deep-seated bittersweet love.
Amid the chaos and the distractions, you know that there is no rush. You sit back, comforted by the awareness that while the path is steep, it is the right path, and so you have no choice but to follow the winding trail. As you focus on the infinite game, you achieve more than you can imagine. Unexpected magic awaits you at each turn. This magic is not just in the achievements, but in the joy of playing the game without worrying about the finish line. You attract others who are also playing an infinite game, and together, you positively reinforce each other’s journey. Together, you build an infinite culture that leaves a lasting impact far beyond the confines of any finite game.
This article is an excerpt from Chapter 7 of Choose Your Work
Footnote
This paradigm is based on a finite game, a game played to win and which ends once the time frame has expired: James Carse has written about the difference between infinite games and finite games in Finite and Infinite Games. He states, “A finite game is played for the purpose of winning, an infinite game for the purpose of continuing the play.” James P. Carse, Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility (New York: Free Press, 1986), 6.
Dan Dobos writes about decision making, personal growth, human potential, fulfillment and helping people choose the work that they are meant to do. He is the author of Choose Your Work.