A conqueror once invaded a village and imprisoned most of its men. Among the villagers were four philanthropists.
The first philanthropist went to the conqueror and said, “I understand the men do not have clean water, so I would like to donate purified water to the men.” And he was granted that.
The second philanthropist said, “I understand the men don’t get much food, so I would like to donate more food to the men.” And he was granted that.
The third philanthropist said, “I understand the men are often cold at night, so I would like to donate clothes and blankets.” And he was granted that.
Then the fourth philanthropist came along. He wasn’t as financially successful as the other philanthropists, but he possessed great wisdom. He found the prison keys and released the men.
This story highlights how a highly successful outer journey may still amount to nothing more than suffering in comfort. But in real life, no one hands you the keys. You must find them yourself.
The way to break out of prison is to let go of the outer journey. Observe the self-imposed prison walls that you have built in your life. What are you doing to look good at the expense of feeling good?
To escape a “life of quiet desperation,” as Thoreau put it, you must first look inward. The mere act of self-reflection makes space for you to choose your work. It’s the first step to preventing you from becoming a muffled voice that resides in safety and whispers in monotones. As you start to crystallize your preferences, you resist the false dreams that are centered on an outer journey. And as you begin to take action, you stop yourself from suffering in comfort.
Real success is about knowing how to spend your energy so that peace, joy, and excitement pervade your days. As you discover the peaks of joy and the valleys of sorrow, you realize that we have been oversold the value of comfort, and that it’s not your top priority. Indeed, many valuable experiences cannot be purchased with money, which explains the conspicuous absence of money from the list of top regrets of the dying.
This article is an excerpt from Chapter 3 of Choose Your Work
Footnotes
A conqueror once invaded a village and imprisoned most of its men: This story comes from Wayne W. Dyer’s audiobook. Wayne Dyer, “There Is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem,” in The Wayne Dyer Audio Collection, Hay House, 2004, audiobook, accessed November 24, 2024, https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Wayne-Dyer-Audio-Collection-Audiobook/B002V5CLL8.
To escape a “life of quiet desperation,” as Thoreau put it, you must first look inward: Thoreau originally quoted a “life of quiet desperation” in his novel Walden. Henry David Thoreau, Walden (Boston: Ticknor and Fields, 1854), 8.
Indeed, many valuable experiences cannot be purchased with money: As Helen Keller has put it, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched — they must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller, The Story of My Life (New York: Doubleday, Page & Co., 1903), 203.
conspicuous absence of money from the list of top regrets of the dying: The top regrets of the dying are:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me;
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard;
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings;
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends;
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2012).
Notice how none of these regrets are even remotely correlated to money.
Dan Dobos writes about decision making, personal growth, human potential, fulfillment and helping people choose the work that they are meant to do. He is the author of Choose Your Work.