A More Detailed About Page
This is an excerpt from the start of Chapter 1 of Choose Your Work. You can also get the full chapter for free. The first four paragraphs provide context and more info about me begins from paragraph 5.
Ivan Ilych, a legal practitioner revered by his peers, had a frightening thought on his deathbed: What if my whole life has been wrong? He had climbed every rung of the professional ladder, conformed to every social expectation, yet still felt an emptiness untouched by his many accomplishments.
What if that were you? What if, lying on your deathbed, you realised that despite following all the rules, you overlooked what mattered most? What if you chose the wrong career? What if you spent your time on things that never really mattered? What if you were skilled at your job, but it never brought you any joy?
It’s a terrifying thought that your whole life has been wrong. But what’s even more unsettling is that this is not just a hypothetical idea.
Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse for many years, documented the regrets shared by patients in the last stage of their lives. The most common regret was I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
The insights from Ivan Ilych and Bronnie Ware about living meaningfully remind me of when my dad migrated from Romania to Australia. When his family first arrived, they couldn’t afford chairs, so they used fruit boxes from the grocer instead. Even today, at various moments—like when I sit on a comfortable chair—I visualise my dad sitting on a fruit box and my heart swells with emotion. I become almost teary-eyed as I feel my chest flooded with energy, which then envelops my entire body.
This sense of awe and gratitude for being able to live in Australia fills me with determination and focus, reminding me that I won the lottery at birth and that many people are deprived of the same opportunity. It makes me appreciate that each moment is irreplaceable, that I have an obligation to work hard, think hard and live to my full potential.
My father’s story helped me realise how much life has to offer. It made me notice that many people have stable careers, reasonable intelligence and lead respectable lives. They do all the things their culture and families programmed them to do. They honour their commitments, study diligently, adhere to the rules, get to work on time, pay taxes, complete paperwork, raise families, retire, play with their grandchildren, and finally, they die. While this is an entirely valid way to live, a nagging question lingers: Is this all there is?
Despite outward appearances of success, many reach the end of their lives grappling with a profound sense of regret because they never pursued their innermost desires. They got caught up in life’s mundane distractions instead of embracing the depth of what life has to offer. While there were many moments of joy and happy occasions, these were experienced without fully comprehending that their deepest aspirations were quietly being compromised.
It’s as if they somehow believed they had an unlimited supply of time, even though the finite nature of life is undeniable. The average person spends 45 years working, which amounts to approximately 90,000 hours. This book urges you to examine your own life so that when you reach its end, you look back without the haunting regret that plagued Ivan Ilych.
This book is for you if you sense there’s more to life than the same document, the same spreadsheet and the same meetings on repeat. If you seek work that resonates with your core, if you desire a life imbued with a deeper meaning, then this book is for you. If you don’t address these aspirations, the ensuing restlessness can lead to a life half-lived, untapped potential and a lingering shadow of what could have been.
This book is for you if you want to stop suffering in comfort and begin living to your full capacity. Let’s discover your deepest truth, redefine what success means to you and begin a fulfilling new chapter in your journey.
I confronted these issues when I encountered the book that changed my life.
The book that changed my life
I have always been good at maths. In Year 8, I got 100% on the final exam. I continued to excel in maths throughout high school and received many first-class honours in Engineering/Law at Melbourne University.
I picked Engineering because of my proficiency in maths, rather than seeking out what truly excited me. While there were aspects of my university studies that I enjoyed, the problems civil engineers tackled didn’t inspire me. By overvaluing my maths skills, I failed to pursue what really mattered to me. I suffered from the curse of competence.
I finished university and successfully made it through a gruelling six-round interview process at an elite consulting firm. One of the many lessons I learned from working in the corporate world is that I don’t want to work in the corporate world. While I have friends who love their corporate roles, I personally felt that something was missing when my primary focus was solely on improving commercial outcomes. So at twenty-five, I chose the work for the first time by leaving my corporate job. I began a coaching business to show students an easier way to study.
Each morning, I spent an hour writing, exploring ideas that intrigued me. One day I decided to write Choose Your Work as a gift for my kids because I hoped it would help them cultivate meaningful and fulfilling lives.
I never would have expected that I was writing this book for myself as much as I was writing for my kids. It was like the book had a mind of its own, working on me while I thought I was working on it. I came to understand that the book that will most impact your life isn’t a bestseller recommended on social media; it’s the book that you write yourself. It turned out that writing this book was accidentally the greatest gift that I have ever given myself.
Each morning for two years, I blocked out 9 a.m. to midday to work on this project and went to bed every night looking forward to this uninterrupted time. Ordinarily, my phone would constantly distract me. But during these morning sessions, my focus was intense because the work energised me—so much so that at times, I felt waves of energy going down my spine. It felt like I was doing the work that I was meant to be doing.
There were many challenging moments. Sometimes, I got stuck and felt like I had no idea how to progress. Even then, I enjoyed being defeated by the work. I enjoyed dancing with difficulty. I embraced the roller coaster through its ups and downs. I hung on tightly because I could feel in my bones that this work resonated with my true self. It would have been easy to keep running my business as usual, but something deep inside me had already rejected ease and comfort a long time ago. So I kept going, uncertain as to what would come next but completely certain that I was on the right path.
As I became more absorbed in writing, I began to notice a pattern. I would work intensely from 9 a.m. to midday in a state of bliss. Then midday would arrive and I would have to stop. I would feel a sharp pang of sadness as I extricated myself from what I loved doing to deal with the demands of my business. As this pattern repeated itself, I became aware that something was amiss.
As much as I greatly enjoyed working in the business, it had a very particular rhythm. It required intense attention to detail and juggling many moving parts, with each day fragmented into countless short bursts of energy to address the multitude of tasks and people requiring attention.
In contrast, I discovered that writing energises me due to its singular focus. Writing this book allowed me to immerse myself in a web of ideas and develop a perspective on a neglected topic. As the writing pulled me in with an increasingly strong magnetic force, I came to realise that deep down, there was nothing that I wanted more than to think and write all day. It then dawned on me that, as the author of Choose Your Work, it would be unacceptable to ignore this very same principle in my own life.
And so, once again, I chose to pursue the work that called me. While I believed that staying in the business would be more financially rewarding, something deep within compelled me to commit fully to writing. I had always lived well below my means, which meant I could risk hiring someone to take over my role in the business. I faced setbacks recruiting the right person, but decided that I would do whatever it took, for however long it took, to move forward with my plan. Eventually, I found someone to replace me.
Was it easy for me to choose the work? Absolutely not. But without a doubt, it felt right in every cell of my body.
My journey helped me grasp the real difference between a strength and a weakness, which is further explored in Chapter 8: How to overcome the curse of competence. Despite ignoring my true strengths, my sheer grit and determination led me to a highly sought-after corporate job and a successful coaching business. But when you choose the work that you are meant to do, your work will light you up. It will capture your attention and give you an immense surge of energy. It will make you feel more powerful, bring you joy and enthusiasm, create an enriching inner journey and make you feel fully alive.
Choosing the work means pursuing the kind of work that energises you and brings a deep sense of meaning. This often involves letting go of others’ expectations and embarking on an uncertain yet deeply fulfilling path. But if you choose the work, it becomes a true expression of who you are, not merely a means to an end.
This is an excerpt from the start of Chapter 1 of Choose Your Work. You can also get the full chapter for free here.