Notes

“What if my whole life has been wrong?”

See Leo Tolstoy, The Death of Ivan Ilych, trans. Kirsten Lodge (Ontario: Broadview Press, 2016).

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”

Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2012).

The average person spends 45 years working, which amounts to approximately 90,000 hours

This statistic can be calculated through some simple math. 40 hours per week × 50 work weeks per year = 2,000 work hours per year. Multiply this by 45 work years, and you get 90,000 work hours. This statistic was originally referenced by Jessica Pryce-Jones in her book Happiness at Work. Jessica Pryce-Jones, Happiness at Work (Malden, MA: Wiley-Blackwell, 2010), 12.

Even then, I enjoyed being defeated by the work

I grew to appreciate what the great poet Rilke said in his exceptional letter about loving questions:

“I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet, trans. M. D. Herter Norton (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 1934), 26.

But when you choose the work that you are meant to do, your work will light you up

Having a sense of control over one’s life is positively associated with various aspects of well-being. One study found that “when people feel that they can exert control, they demonstrate better immune responses, cardiovascular functioning, physical strength, increased longevity, increased life satisfaction, and decreased anxiety and depressive symptoms.” Francesco Pagnini, Katherine Bercovitz, and Ellen Langer, “Perceived Control and Mindfulness: Implications for Clinical Practice,” Journal of Psychotherapy Integration 26, no. 2 (2016): 91–102.

Research has also shown that “higher job satisfaction [predicts] higher life satisfaction.” Wenceslao Unanue et al., “Revisiting the Link between Job Satisfaction and Life Satisfaction: The Role of Basic Psychological Needs,” Frontiers in Psychology 8 (2017): Article 680.

It’s your heart speaking to you, refusing to be misled by any logical argument constructed by your mind

The psychological term for this is cognitive dissonance — the discomfort experienced when your actions contradict your beliefs, or when holding two or more conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes. This theory was first presented by Leon Festinger in his book A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. Leon Festinger, A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance (Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 1962), 6.

When something seems amiss, you can feel it in your gut, which contains approximately 300 million neurons and is often referred to as the second brain

The enteric nervous system (ENS) comprises about 100–500 million nerve cells in your gastrointestinal tract. Functioning independently of the central nervous system, it constantly communicates with your brain and significantly influences psychological states through its production of neurotransmitters. See Sushruta Koppula et al., “The Gut-Brain Axis: Unveiling the Impact of Xenobiotics on Neurological Health and Disorders,” Progress in Neuro-Psychopharmacology and Biological Psychiatry 136 (2025): 111237.

Gallup surveys have revealed that 79% (more than three in four people) are disengaged at work

This information was found in a 2025 Gallup Poll. In 2024, only 21% of employees were engaged. Gallup, “State of the Global Workplace,” August 4, 2025, gallup.com/workplace.

Many people reach a point where the work that once challenged them now feels more like drudgery

See Kevin Dickinson, “Bored at Work? Your Brain Is Trying to Warn You,” Big Think, January 4, 2023, bigthink.com.

Many report feeling understimulated yet overwhelmed

A study found that those who are bored at work may feel “over-worked or under-employed, and become distracted, stressed, or disillusioned.” Michelle Cleary et al., “Boredom in the Workplace: Reasons, Impact, and Solutions,” Issues in Mental Health Nursing 37, no. 2 (2016): 83–89.

Every Sunday night, as I would prepare my clothes for the next day, that angst would creep in — a stark reminder that another week of soul-crushing monotony awaited me

The best description I’ve seen that captures this painful situation is from the Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa:

My soul came apart like an empty jar. It fell overwhelmingly, down the stairs. Dropped from the hands of a careless maid. It fell. Smashed into more pieces than there was china in the jar.

Fernando Pessoa, A Little Larger Than the Entire Universe: Selected Poems, trans. Richard Zenith (New York: Penguin Books, 2006), 234.

These psychological problems arise from doing work that you were never meant to do — work that clashes with your true nature

One study of over 6,000 female workers found a positive correlation between job dissatisfaction and depressive symptoms and suicidal ideation. Seong-Uk Baek, Jin-Ha Yoon, and Jong-Uk Won, “Job Dissatisfaction as a Risk Factor of Depressive Symptoms and Suicidal Ideation among Female Workers,” Archives of Women’s Mental Health 27, no. 1 (2024): 57–66.

If you are not willing to take a risk on the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary

This quote, lightly edited for clarity, is attributed to Jim Rohn — a motivational speaker and entrepreneur who wrote many books including 7 Strategies for Wealth & Happiness, The Power of Ambition, and The Keys to Success. See JimRohn.com.

Unfortunately, they also reduce the quality of your decisions

A study showed that phone use, specifically the usage of social media, impairs executive functions and reduces self-control. See Phil Reed, “Impact of Social Media Use on Executive Function,” Computers in Human Behavior 141 (2023): 107598. See also: Zahra Vahedi and Alyssa Saiphoo, “The Association Between Smartphone Use, Stress, and Anxiety: A Meta-Analytic Review,” Stress and Health 34 (2018): 347–58.

Poor mental health causes stress, leaving your body fatigued

Psychoneuroimmunology explores how emotional states can suppress immune function while positive emotional states may boost immune response. See Hedayat Yaribeygi et al., “The Impact of Stress on Body Function: A Review,” EXCLI Journal 16 (2017): 1057–72. Meaningful work has also been shown to negatively correlate with depression. Blake A. Allan et al., “Meaningful Work and Mental Health: Job Satisfaction as a Moderator,” Journal of Mental Health 27, no. 1 (2018): 38–44.

Studies have found that heart attacks are most common on Monday mornings, right at the start of the work week

A study by Circulation Research found that “myocardial infarctions occur with greatest incidence early on a Monday morning.” David J. Lefer, “Is There a Better Time of Day to Have a Heart Attack?,” Circulation Research 106, no. 3 (2010): 430–31.

“They had an energy, a vitality, and a sense of humor that the others lacked… they seemed more at peace with themselves and with the prospect of death.”

These reflections were originally expressed in Boldt’s book How to Find the Work You Love. Laurence G. Boldt, How to Find the Work You Love (New York: Arkana, 1996), 82.

In September 2012, a tour bus driver in southern Iceland stopped near a canyon to give passengers time to explore the surrounding area

“Report: Missing Tourist in Iceland Joins Search for Herself,” NBC News, August 31, 2012, nbcnews.com.

It’s hard for me to accept, but I know the day will come when I take them to school for the last time

Oliver Burkeman had a similar thought, stating “Just as there will be a final occasion on which I pick up my son — there will be a last time that you visit your childhood home, or swim in the ocean, or make love, or have a deep conversation with a certain close friend.” Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2021), 132.

Figure 1: Your life in weeks

Inspired by Tim Urban, “Your Life in Weeks,” Wait But Why, May 7, 2014, waitbutwhy.com. Life expectancies are based on the typical life expectancy of someone living in North America.

Many find that writing by hand promotes deeper self-reflection and better memory retention

Research found that handwritten characters are more likely to be retained in memory than typefaces. Risa Ito et al., “Comparison of the Remembering Ability by the Difference Between Handwriting and Typeface,” in HCI International 2020 – Posters, vol. 1224, 526–34 (Cham: Springer, 2020).

The defective structural design had to be stabilized from a 5.5-degree tilt to a 3.97-degree tilt in the 1990s for safety reasons

“Leaning Tower of Pisa,” Wikipedia, last modified May 31, 2025, wikipedia.org.

Hold your experience like a delicate flower in your hand…

Steven C. Hayes, A Liberated Mind (New York: Avery, 2019), 140.

In about ninety days, most of your roughly 30 trillion cells will transform into new ones

Mark Fischetti and Jen Christiansen, “A New You in 80 Days,” Scientific American 324, no. 4 (April 2021): 76.

Rabbi Harold Kushner reflected on the death of his son, who tragically passed away from a rare genetic disease at just fourteen years old

This experience led Rabbi Kushner to write his first book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, in which he grapples with the problem of suffering and explores how people can find meaning in the face of life’s tragedies. Harold S. Kushner, When Bad Things Happen to Good People (New York: Schocken Books, 1981), 105.

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread…”

This quote comes from Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning, trans. Ilse Lasch (Boston: Beacon Press, 1959), 65.

After being freed from the concentration camp, Frankl wrote his groundbreaking book Man’s Search for Meaning in just nine days

His book was dubbed as one of “the ten most influential books in the US” by the Library of Congress. Anna Redsand, Viktor Frankl: A Life Worth Living (New York: Clarion Books, 2006), 88–89.

Despair was a choice…

This quote is from Anthony Ray Hinton’s book The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row, where he reflects on his 30 years of wrongful imprisonment. Anthony Ray Hinton with Lara Love Hardin (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2018), 115.

These experiences are valuable because they give you depth, mold your character, and improve the quality of your thinking

According to research from University of Wisconsin–Madison, “up to 70 percent of people experience positive psychological growth from difficult times, such as a deeper sense of self and purpose, a greater appreciation for life and loved ones, and an increased capacity for altruism, empathy, and desire to act for the greater good.” Shilagh Mirgain, “The Surprising Benefit of Going Through Difficult Times,” UW Health, April 7, 2020.

“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer”

Albert Camus, Lyrical and Critical Essays, trans. Ellen Conroy Kennedy (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1968), 169.

The pain loses its sting when you absorb its lesson

Buddhists use the metaphor of two arrows to describe how we experience negative events. The first arrow represents the event itself; the second arrow symbolizes our emotional reaction. The Buddha explained, “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.” See “The Parable of 2 Arrows,” The Daily Coach, September 27, 2023.

As the Zen proverb states, “Who knows what is good or bad luck?”

This Zen proverb is commonly shown through the story of the old Zen farmer. “Are These Bad Times or Good Times? The Story of the Zen Farmer,” Mindfulness.com, February 9, 2023.

When John Wilson was twelve years old, his chemistry class participated in a routine experiment involving boiling water

Ken Robinson and Lou Aronica, The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything (New York: Viking Penguin, 2009), 156.

You grow to discover that emotions stemming from difficult experiences have a perverse allure, leading you to replay them over and over in your head

Negative experiences are more strongly encoded because, evolutionarily, threats needed to be remembered vividly. This psychological phenomenon is called the negativity bias. See Roy F. Baumeister et al., “Bad Is Stronger than Good,” Review of General Psychology 5, no. 4 (2001): 323–70.

This caused all sorts of problems for the railway companies and even led some to invent their own standard time zones

William J. H. Andrewes, “A Chronicle of Timekeeping,” Scientific American, February 1, 2006.

Modern time zones were invented by Sir Sandford Fleming, a Canadian railway engineer

Christopher Dewdney, “How Sandford Fleming Changed the Way the World Experiences Time,” Canadian Geographic, March 13, 2017.

Schools remain a vehicle to teach compliance and offer little discussion on the bigger questions connected to developing a meaningful life

As Dan Koe writes, “We are told to read books we don’t care about to complete projects we don’t care about to prepare ourselves for a life we don’t care about. Before you know it, you are trapped in a dense cloud of responsibilities.” Dan Koe, “The Truth About Money,” September 21, 2024, thedankoe.com.

What is the dollar value of slowly enjoying each moment of your work?

Naval Ravikant has a personal metric: “How much of the day is spent doing things out of obligation rather than out of interest?” Eric Jorgenson, The Almanack of Naval Ravikant (San Francisco: Magrathea Publishing, 2020), 150.

In a state of relaxed concentration, you are more likely to find unexpected connections between seemingly unrelated ideas

One study showed that individuals are more likely to develop creative ideas and associations in a state of “REST (random episodic silent thought),” a state of mental relaxation. Nancy C. Andreasen, “A Journey into Chaos: Creativity and the Unconscious,” Mens Sana Monographs 9, no. 1 (2011): 42–53.

Imagine flying to a destination renowned for its breathtaking nature, investing in a scenic bus trip, and then spending the entire trip arguing with other passengers over seating

This example is from Anthony de Mello’s book The Way to Love. Anthony de Mello, The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony de Mello (New York: Image Books, 1995), 4.

She was playing with house money

The expression “playing with house money” refers to the idea that if you go to the casino and win, say $100, that $100 is called “house money.” So if you lose it, you’re not concerned because the money was not yours before you arrived.

A conqueror once invaded a village and imprisoned most of its men

This story comes from Wayne W. Dyer’s audiobook. Wayne Dyer, “There Is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem,” in The Wayne Dyer Audio Collection, Hay House, 2004.

To escape a “life of quiet desperation,” as Thoreau put it, you must first look inward

Thoreau originally quoted a “life of quiet desperation” in his novel Walden. Henry David Thoreau, Walden (Boston: Ticknor and Fields, 1854), 8.

Many valuable experiences cannot be purchased with money

As Helen Keller has put it, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched — they must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller, The Story of My Life (New York: Doubleday, Page & Co., 1903), 203.

The conspicuous absence of money from the list of top regrets of the dying

The top regrets of the dying are: (1) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me; (2) I wish I hadn’t worked so hard; (3) I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings; (4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends; (5) I wish that I had let myself be happier. Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2012). Notice how none of these regrets are even remotely correlated to money.

“As you walk the path, the pathway reveals itself.”

Rumi, as quoted in Nico Neruda, Rumi: 365 Profound Quotes from the Poet of Universal Love (Independently Published, 2020), 44.

“What you are seeking is also seeking you.”

Rumi, as quoted in Nico Neruda, Rumi: 365 Profound Quotes from the Poet of Universal Love (Independently Published, 2020), 39.

“Be so good they can’t ignore you”

The quote comes from an interview Steve Martin did on The Charlie Rose Show in 2007. “Advice from Steve Martin,” YouTube video, 0:50, posted by Suzanne Pope, August 15, 2015.

By consistently working from the same location, you signal to your brain that it’s time to enter a focused creative state

In psychology, this is known as context-dependent memory. Studies have shown that returning to the same environment serves as a psychological trigger for entering the previous mindset. Steven M. Smith and Edward Vela, “Environmental Context-Dependent Memory: A Review and Meta-Analysis,” Psychonomic Bulletin & Review 8, no. 2 (2001): 203–20.

Become a Sales Grandmaster

I heard the term “Sales Grandmaster” from Peter Thiel in his book Zero to One. See Peter Thiel, Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build the Future (New York: Crown Business, 2014), 97.

Use your favorite AI tool to get some guidance

Watch out for hallucinations. Use multiple AI tools with a service like Poe.com so that you can use a different AI to give different perspectives.

“Not a single human player would choose that move.”

AlphaGo. Directed by Greg Kohs. Moxie Pictures and Reel As Dirt, 2017.

The difference between what I call your adapted self — the part of you molded by external expectations — and your true self

Carl Rogers, an American psychologist, explores the idea of the adapted self and the true self in his book On Becoming a Person. Carl R. Rogers, On Becoming a Person (Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1961), 113.

If someone wins a bronze medal, they’re usually happier than when they win a silver medal

See Daniel H. Pink, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward (New York: Riverhead Books, 2022), 34. See also: Victoria Husted Medvec, Scott F. Madey, and Thomas Gilovich, “When Less Is More: Counterfactual Thinking and Satisfaction Among Olympic Medalists,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 69, no. 4 (1995): 603–10.

The actual gold medal is typically composed of 92.5% silver

Sihan Tan, “Are Olympic Gold Medals Actually Made of Gold?”, Olympus IMS, October 11, 2022.

This unconscious imitation is facilitated by mirror neurons in our brains, which fire when we observe someone else performing an action

When we observe someone performing an action, our mirror neurons fire just as they would if we were performing the action ourselves. Sourya Acharya and Samarth Shukla, “Mirror Neurons: Enigma of the Metaphysical Modular Brain,” Journal of Natural Science, Biology, and Medicine 3, no. 2 (2012): 118–24.

This sparks mimetic desire — the desire to have certain things simply because other people have them

The Mimetic Theory of Desire was first proposed by René Girard in 1961. Girard states, “Man is the creature who does not know what to desire, and he turns to others in order to make up his mind. We desire what others desire because we imitate their desires.” Walter Burkert, René Girard, and Jonathan Z. Smith, Violent Origins, ed. Robert G. Hamerton-Kelly (Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 1987), 122.

But most people are too absorbed in their own vanities and insecurities to notice

The spotlight effect is the tendency to overestimate how much others notice our appearance, actions, or mistakes. One study tested the spotlight effect by asking participants to wear an embarrassing T-shirt into a room and estimate how many people noticed. The participants vastly overestimated the number. Thomas Gilovich, Victoria H. Medvec, and Kenneth Savitsky, “The Spotlight Effect in Social Judgment,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 78, no. 2 (2000): 211–22.

What’s your number?

Andrew Wilkinson, Never Enough: From Barista to Billionaire (Nashville, TN: Matt Holt, 2024), 15.

The principle of hedonic adaptation holds that even if you reach “your number,” the satisfaction it brings will be short-lived

One study on lottery winners concluded: “Although lottery winners felt very good about winning the lottery, they took less pleasure than controls in a variety of ordinary events and were not in general happier than controls.” Philip Brickman, Dan Coates, and Ronnie Janoff-Bulman, “Lottery Winners and Accident Victims: Is Happiness Relative?” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 36, no. 8 (1978): 917–27. A more recent Swedish study of 3,362 lottery winners further supported these results.

From all these achievements, you discover that the best result is a compelling experience

Andrew Wilkinson noted that after lavishly upgrading his lifestyle with a Porsche 911 Turbo, multiple new houses, and a new office, those purchases “soon became meaningless” and made him feel “empty and gross.” In contrast, he reflected that “the things that had made me happy were simply moments of meaning. Pushing my sons on the swings at the park. Enjoying a sunset over the lake at my cabin.” Andrew Wilkinson, Never Enough (Nashville, TN: Matt Holt, 2024), 177–179.

A teacher told an impressionable student, “You are not good at math,” and because the statement was taken personally, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy

This is an example of the Pygmalion effect. In a 1960s study by Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson, teachers were told certain students had high academic potential (selected at random). Those students showed greater intellectual gains after one year than others. Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson, Pygmalion in the Classroom (New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1968), 121.

Playing it safe is the most dangerous thing that you can do

Several months after writing this section, I discovered that Casey Neistat has said, “The most dangerous thing you can do in life is play it safe.” “The Most Dangerous Thing in Life,” YouTube video, 8:30, posted April 22, 2015.

“To those who understand you, no words are needed. To those who do not, no words are possible.”

This is a play on words on what Saint Ignatius of Loyola once told his followers: “For those who believe, no words are necessary. For those who do not believe, no words are possible.” Saint Ignatius of Loyola, as quoted in Wayne W. Dyer, Wishes Fulfilled (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2012), 169.

A reporter once asked the famous opera singer, “What do you do the night before a big opera? Do you socialize?”

Victoria Labalme, “Discipline vs. Devotion,” video, January 26, 2024, victorialabalme.com.

“No, it’s not discipline; it’s devotion.”

Jim Rohn has said, “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.” Pavarotti demonstrates that instead of suffering the pain of discipline, it’s possible to participate in the joy of devotion.

All progress in this world has been achieved through the vehicle of doubt

As Richard Feynman stated, “Science is the belief in the fallibility of experts.” Richard P. Feynman, The Pleasure of Finding Things Out, ed. Jeffrey Robbins (Cambridge, MA: Perseus Books, 1999), 216.

Aristotle’s ideas on motion were doubted and falsified by Galileo in 1638

Galileo Galilei, Dialogues Concerning Two New Sciences, trans. Henry Crew and Alfonso de Salvio (New York: The Macmillan Company, 1914), 72.

In 1900, Max Planck doubted Newtonian physics and discovered quantum physics

Martin J. Klein, “Max Planck and the Beginnings of the Quantum Theory,” Archive for History of Exact Sciences 1 (1961): 459–79.

Einstein doubted that Max Planck had the full story and won the Nobel Prize by building on Planck’s ideas

Walter Isaacson, Einstein: His Life and Universe (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2007), 141, 280.

“Independent of the good opinion of others.”

Abraham H. Maslow, Motivation and Personality (New York: Harper & Row, 1954), 162.

Richard Feynman was a physicist who, at one point in his career, was in a bit of a slump

Richard Feynman wrote about this experience in his autobiographical book. See Richard P. Feynman, Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman! (New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 1985), 167–69.

This state of playful creativity helps create what the pioneering psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls a flow state

See Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (New York: Harper & Row, 1990), 63–66, 118–19.

By focusing on playful exploration, Feynman became more creative, which led him to win a Nobel Prize

See Jean Kathryn Carney, “Intrinsic Motivation and Artistic Success,” PhD diss., University of Chicago, 1986; cited in Daniel H. Pink, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us (New York: Riverhead Books, 2009), 38–39.

“It was like uncorking a bottle: Everything flowed out effortlessly.”

Richard P. Feynman, Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman! (New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 1985), 169.

Spanish concept of duende

Thomas Moore defines duende as “the palpable passion you sense in an artist or athlete who reaches a point of superhuman power and produces magical effects with unexplainable skill.” Thomas Moore, A Life at Work: The Joy of Discovering What You Were Born to Do (New York: Broadway Books, 2008), 106.

The love of their craft seems to rejuvenate their body and mind, causing their biological age to be far lower than their actual age

One study found that “positive feelings (happiness, hope, safety) have a significant impact on [biological age].” Conversely, “psychological factors, such as feeling unhappy or being lonely, add up to 1.65 years to one’s biological age.” Fedor Galkin et al., “Psychological Factors Substantially Contribute to Biological Aging,” Aging 14, no. 18 (2022): 7206–22.

We now have more computing power in our pocket than the system that sent the first rocket to the moon

Felix Büsching, Sebastian Schildt, and Lars Wolf, “DroidCluster: Towards Smartphone Cluster Computing,” in Proceedings of the 2012 32nd International Conference on Distributed Computing Systems Workshops (IEEE, 2012), 114–17.

Jobs founded Apple with Steve Wozniak and emphasized that intuition guided the design and features of the iPod, iPhone, and iPad

Walter Isaacson, Steve Jobs (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2011), 564.

Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Steven Spielberg, and Serena Williams all placed a high value on intuition

See Oprah Winfrey, The Path Made Clear (New York: Flatiron Books, 2019), 14. See also: Albert Einstein, Einstein on Cosmic Religion (Mineola, NY: Dover Publications, 2009), 31. See also: “Filmmaker Steven Spielberg Speech | Harvard Commencement 2016,” YouTube video, May 26, 2016.

Using a countdown timer to focus on a single task

See Francesco Cirillo, The Pomodoro Technique (New York: Currency, 2018), 134.

Putting one song on repeat

See Elizabeth Hellmuth Margulis, On Repeat: How Music Plays the Mind (New York: Flatiron Books, 2019), 14.

Writer and venture capitalist Paul Graham tells the story about his friend, a successful doctor who constantly complained about her job

Paul Graham, “How to Do What You Love,” January 2006, paulgraham.com.

We don’t change careers because we have spent so long establishing our skills in our current profession

The sunk cost fallacy also applies to your identity. One study states that organizations are “often crucial in shaping a person’s identity and personal traits.” As you invest more and more into building a life around that identity, it becomes increasingly difficult to let go of it. Darja Kragt and David V. Day, “Identity and Identification at Work,” Organizational Psychology Review 6, no. 3 (2016): 215–47.

Develop thoughtful quit criteria

For a discussion on quit criteria, or “kill criteria” as Duke puts it, see her excellent book, Quit. Annie Duke, Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away (London: Ebury Edge, 2022), 115.

The Awareness Map

This diagram is inspired by the Johari Window. See Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham, “The Johari Window: A Graphic Model of Interpersonal Awareness,” Proceedings of the Western Training Laboratory in Group Development no. 246 (1955).

Increasing your heart rate variability (HRV) can enhance your intuition by strengthening the connection between your heart and brain

Giuseppe Forte, Francesca Favieri, and Maria Casagrande, “Heart Rate Variability and Cognitive Function: A Systematic Review,” Frontiers in Neuroscience 13 (2019).

A finite game is played to win and which ends once the time frame has expired

James Carse states, “A finite game is played for the purpose of winning, an infinite game for the purpose of continuing the play.” James P. Carse, Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility (New York: Free Press, 1986), 6.

Sir Ken Robinson was a British author, speaker, and international advisor on education, renowned for his TED Talk “Do Schools Kill Creativity?”, which has been viewed over 100 million times

Sir Ken Robinson, “Do Schools Kill Creativity?”, filmed February 2006 at TED2006, video, 19:11, youtube.com.

A story about a girl named Gillian who was eight years old when her school wrote to her parents complaining about her poor academic performance

Ken Robinson and Lou Aronica, The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything (New York: Viking Penguin, 2009), 1–4.

Psychologist Howard Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences shows that aside from linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence, there are six additional intelligences

Howard Gardner, Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences (New York: Basic Books, 1983), 12.

A strength makes you feel stronger

This idea has been put forth by a range of eminent experts. See Marcus Buckingham, Love + Work (Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2022), 115–16. See also: Christopher Peterson and Martin E. P. Seligman, Character Strengths and Virtues (New York: Oxford University Press, 2004), 18. The original idea seems to come from Peter Drucker. See Peter F. Drucker, The Effective Executive (New York: Harper & Row, 1966), 89.

“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.”

Abraham H. Maslow, Motivation and Personality (New York: Harper & Row, 1954), 46.

Stephen Curry’s relentless practice — 300 to 500 shots every single day, including weekends, amounting to roughly 1.9 million shots over fifteen years

Assuming he practices seven days a week: during the offseason (~84 days at 500 shots/day = 42,000 shots) and the NBA season (~280 days at 300 shots/day = 84,000 shots), Curry takes an estimated 126,000 practice shots per year. Over 15 years: approximately 1,890,000 practice shots. As of January 2025, Curry has made approximately 8,200 successful field goals in his NBA career — only 0.44% of his practice shots.

Pablo Picasso created over 20,000 paintings, prints, drawings, sculptures, ceramics, and theater sets

James Voorhies, “Pablo Picasso (1881–1973),” The Met’s Heilbrunn Timeline of Art History, October 2004.

Thomas Edison acquired 1,093 United States patents during his eighty-four-year lifetime, equivalent to one patent every two weeks during his working life

Vinay Dabholkar, “Evolution of Innovation Process: From Edison to Lafley,” (2009).

You cannot purchase mastery, nor can you rush it

Derek Sivers, in his incredible book How to Live, has said that when it comes to mastery: “The rich can’t buy it / The impatient can’t rush it / The privileged can’t inherit it / And nobody can steal it / You can only earn it through hard work.” Derek Sivers, How to Live: 27 Conflicting Answers and One Weird Conclusion (Hit Media, 2021), 35.

“What is it on this planet that needs doing, that I know something about, that probably won’t happen unless I personally take responsibility for it?”

Cited in Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life (New York: Hyperion, 1994), 150–51.

“This boy is bleeding to death on the table in front of me… I see the fear in the eyes of the anesthesiologist and we both know that we are running out of time”

James R. Doty, Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart (New York: Avery, 2016), 9.

They are content to spend only around 20% of their time one-on-one with the animals. The remaining 80% is dedicated to menial tasks like cleaning enclosures and scrubbing floors

Emily Esfahani Smith, The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters (New York: Crown Publishing Group, 2017), 68. See also: J. Stuart Bunderson and Jeffrey A. Thompson, “The Call of the Wild: Zookeepers, Callings, and the Double-Edged Sword of Deeply Meaningful Work,” Administrative Science Quarterly 54, no. 1 (2009): 32–57.

That’s why so few zookeepers ever quit the profession

A study found that zookeepers “stay in this profession despite difficult conditions such as dealing with work overload, poor animal welfare, or weather-related strains… while the job was not always easy, most people stayed in — and were content with — their job overall.” Sabrina Brando et al., “Understanding Job Satisfaction and Occupational Stressors of Distinctive Roles in Zoos and Aquariums,” Animals 13, no. 12 (2023): Article 2018.

“I’m building a cathedral.”

The story of the stonecutters was cited in The Heart of Business. See Hubert Joly with Caroline Lambert, The Heart of Business: Leadership Principles for the Next Era of Capitalism (Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2021), 44.

“Have I?… The business stuff? The television stuff? Look, I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. A lot of it was creative. I’ve made a lot of people financially secure. But was it important?”

Laurence Shames and Peter Barton, Not Fade Away: A Short Life Well Lived (New York: HarperCollins, 2003), 64.

If you do not exercise for a long time, your muscles begin to atrophy

A study on the effects of reduced physical activity found that reducing steps per day resulted in “significant muscle atrophy… in both young and older adults.” Kelly A. Bowden Davies et al., “Reduced Physical Activity in Young and Older Adults: Metabolic and Musculoskeletal Implications,” Therapeutic Advances in Endocrinology and Metabolism 10 (2019).

Growth is impossible in the absence of friction

One study found that following an adverse experience, our character can broaden, including “intellectual humility, open-mindedness to diverse perspectives on an issue, understanding the multiple ways in which situations may unfold, and empathy.” Eranda Jayawickreme et al., “Post-Traumatic Growth as Positive Personality Change,” Journal of Personality 89, no. 1 (2021): 145–65.

Many cultures do not suffer from the misguided dream of retiring on an island

The Japanese encourage others not to retire because “those who give up the things they love doing and do well lose their purpose in life.” Héctor García and Francesc Miralles, Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life (New York: Penguin Books, 2017), 184. For agrarian societies in the Andes, “retirement is a word unknown… Healthy people continue to labor, although in reduced form, for as long as they are physically able.” Mark R. Luborsky and Ian M. LeBlanc, “Cross-Cultural Perspectives on the Concept of Retirement,” Journal of Cross-Cultural Gerontology 18, no. 4 (2003): 251–71.

This mindset is summarized by the word ikigai, which loosely translates to “a reason for being.”

Héctor García and Francesc Miralles, Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life (New York: Penguin Books, 2017), 9. The practice of ikigai is a key reason Okinawa has one of the world’s highest percentages of people living to over a hundred (p. 12).

You always want to leave money on the table

As Sam Zell stated, “In any negotiation I believe in leaving a little bit on the table. And in any relationship I believe in sharing the stakes. I’ve been doing deals with many of the same people for decades because the goal is for us to all come out ahead.” Sam Zell, Am I Being Too Subtle? (New York: Portfolio, 2017), 10.

Never make optimizing your financial return your top priority because the cost of doing so is disastrously high

Longitudinal studies have confirmed that well-being improves as less importance is placed on materialistic goals and values. See Tim Kasser et al., “Changes in Materialism, Changes in Psychological Well-Being,” Motivation and Emotion 38, no. 1 (2014): 1–22.

The very difficulty of the hike amplifies your sense of accomplishment

There is a scientific phenomenon known as the “IKEA effect,” originating from a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The study found that people value things more when they have put effort into creating or obtaining them. Michael I. Norton, Daniel Mochon, and Dan Ariely, “The IKEA Effect: When Labour Leads to Love,” Journal of Consumer Psychology 22, no. 3 (2012): 453–60.

Paul continued his work because he felt it was a sacred part of his identity

Paul Kalanithi, When Breath Becomes Air (New York: Random House, 2016), 87.

“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”

T. S. Eliot, Four Quartets (New York: Harcourt, Brace and Company, 1943), “Little Gidding,” lines 239–42.

“To know and not to do is not to know at all.”

This phrase is directly inspired by Chinese philosopher Xun Kuang, who said, “Knowing it is not as good as putting it into practice,” meaning that action is the highest form of learning. Xun Kuang, Xunzi: The Complete Text, trans. Eric L. Hutton (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2014), 64.

Choose projects that bring immediate joy in the short term and enduring significance in the long term

This recommendation is consistent with career advice Peter Thiel gave: “If you think of the future on maybe three horizons — short-term, medium-term, and long-term — we are in a skewed world where we overweight the medium-term, and we underweight some combination of the short-term and the long-term.” “From Zero to One — Peter Thiel at the Innovation Center,” YouTube video, November 28, 2014.